I got! I know what I need! I know what I need ...

Still in chaos recovery from the week from hell -- we might be able to make a movie of that someday -- I am still reeling. I am trashed: mentally, emotionally and physically, from a week where I made bad decisions , I almost made other bad decisions, people made bad decisions for me. Some people didn't know how to respond as a support group to any of these bad decisions until all I wanted to do is forget any and all decisions. I kept thinking of that thing Spock does when he sneaks up behind you with his finger thingies and then touches you and utters "Fooorrrrrggett." I was hoping to find out more about that, but Nimoy retired a few months ago and I am out of luck. I slept very little this week, which anyone who knows about my missing last year, knows I am not allowed to do that.

My missing last year: http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2010/07/surviving-abyss.html

When the letters from the Joseph Gordon-Levitt fans started to arrive to say it wasn't fair I had switched to him and then gone back to Mr. Reedus to finish out a goal I had started, I had to stare at my screen in wonder. "Guys, this is what I do for *fun*. A movie once a week or so where I follow a theme. A little research. I download some photos and then, at my next writing session -- which is daily 2:00 to 5:30 -- I warm by writing this thing. Not a big deal. Not. A. Big. Deal. Trust me on this!!"

I will finish my obligation to myself and Mr. Reedus' fans and then, I promise, I will give just as much attention to Mr. Gordon-Levitt.

So, as I was laying face down on the mattress a few minutes ago -- in the dark -- with the door locked -- thinking "Make it all stop and make Monday nice. Monday needs to be nice. I need to find one those fairies with that dust stuff and shake it around to make them make Monday nice ..." That's when I realized I might need extra help.

With no disrespect to Mr. Reedus or Mr. Gordon-Levitt, I going to commit adultery and cheat on the both of you and I am going to enjoy every minute of it. I think Mr. Reedus will probably find out and somehow I don't think it's going to bother him as long as I am way over there and no where near here. Mr. Gordon-Levitt? I think I can slip it passed him and he will never know. So ... shhhh ... keep my secret.

Remember the movie "Mr. Mom"?

"Kenny I can bribe, but Alex, Alex will talk." LOL

I need a man. I real man. Not that these two aren't real men, of course -- no insults intended --but I need THE real man. The man you want in your Life Boat, on your island and damn it, on the rescue ship after he flagged it down having set fire to the palm trees with one of his cigarettes and a bottle of scotch!! I need Frank McCloud, who can hand Gaye Dawn her drink, take the slap from Rocco say thank you before walking away as if he owned the world.

Oh, I LOVE "Key Largo." So even though I did start to research and review "Moscow Chill" and I do -- guess what -- have lecture due tomorrow -- I am going to blow off work for the rest of the rest of Sunday, open this bottle of wine I bought last night-- an amazing cab -- have some it with the cheese I bought and call it a holiday and go put Bogie on my big screen.

Even poor Davis is still not going to get laid -- for those of you following my new book exploits and knowing Davis has been waiting ten days.

And for the record of Trivia? My dad was very good friends with Chuck Parr, son of Claire Trevor who played Gaye Dawn. My mom still has the electric pencil sharper Chuck gave my dad when they first came out. Sucker weighs about twelve pounds and sounds like 747 taking off, but it still works!!