I have been accused of wanting to live my life in reality TV, of sharing all my problems for the world to see. I think the person who suggested it can think whatever they want. Really is no matter to me. What matters to me is that I do work in a profession that is fairly well lit and sometimes the reality of life slams into the fiction I want to write.
And for the last few months, I haven't even wanted to write fiction. Can you imagine what I thought about reality?
Why did I go from almost daily reviews of Norman Reedus films to only a couple Joesph Gordon-Levitt? Was it because I preferred Mr. Reedus's work? Hell, I love his work, but let's be real: hallway scene in zero gravity when taking out the bad guy with his bare hands? Not bad Mr. Gordon Levitt, no offense, of course, to Mr. Reedus. Going though a window himself, pretty damn impressive, too. :)
No, the reality of this writers' life is that life just got in the way and I have been muddling my way through numerous family crisis' all happening at once -- while my thirty year marriage exploded with the force of a nuclear bomb. No one was at fault and I will not lay blame. Sometimes, these things just happen. Nothing happening here is special -- I guarantee it is going on in 10,000 households right this minute.
But it is said that I want the attention. And as I pack my most special stuff to move across the country -- whether it is permanent or maybe things will work out and I will come home -- it is sad to see all these albums, all this photos, all these memories and try to think it through and remember more of the good than the bad -- cuz that is what I do. Think more good than bad.
What did happen? I will probably never know.
I do know I will be in Georgia soon with family and that is exciting. I am even going to visit New York for Valentine's Day to complete on item on my bucket list.
My books are packed. Got the disk with Davis' story on it. Have everything I need to bake my bread, go for my walks, add in some yoga, read like a mad woman. I will even take up studying french again.
And if admitting that the real life crap happens makes it sound like I want to live in reality TV, then I hope whoever thinks that realizes this is reality and it happens to us all and from sharing we can sometimes learn. Whether we withstand it or not is just dependent on who we call our friends, who we can look to for support and if we have the strength to stand alone when called for.
For me, the four miles escape walks are now what I do for exercise. It's time to get back to work. Defiantly back to the movies and back to the blog. Hope you guys still want to read.
"If you can't take me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best ..." Marilyn Monroe